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Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California. …there’s a perfectly ordinary English sentence. How did that happen! You know how that happened? ‘Cause I’ll tell you. You know how we got into that position? He got there - by lifting things. Now you and me, we avoid lifting things. It’s unpleasant. Especially heavy things. Even a five-year-old child knows this. […] You know, you lift something when you have to. Piano falls on Granny, you lift the piano. ‘Cause Granny has mixed feelings about the whole situation. Sunday lunch continues. He didn’t do any of that! He went right over to the heavy thing and lifted it and put it back down and didn’t move it anywhere. And then he lifted it again, hundreds of times. And said, to the people who had stopped to observe this abhorrent behaviour: “Look how good I am, at lifting the heavy thing. In my underpants.” Now *that* sounds a little dim. But it was *they* who said: “You are the man. You’re the one we want to deal with immigration and water rates and taxes and all that kind of shit.”
Dylan Moran
Like, Totally… Dylan Moran Live
:: fav'd by 2 people
mumble / awesome, politics, usa #
Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it’s 2/3 empty. There’s still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn’t drink it. The last third is usually backwash.
Stephen Colbert
How many Iraqi citizens have died, in this war? I would say 30,000, more or less?
President George W. Bush - in reaction to questions following his speech at the World Affairs Council in Philadelphia, 12-12-2005
I hate America, Louis. I hate this country. Nothing but a bunch of big ideas and stories and people dying, and then people like you. The white cracker who wrote the National Anthem knew what he was doing. He set the word free to a note so high nobody could reach it. That was deliberate.
Jeffrey Wright as Norman 'Belize' Arriaga
Movie: Angels in America (Chapter Five)
:: fav'd by 1 person
spike / calvinball, games, usa #
Babysitter: Thiiss gaaame maakes nooo sennnse! It’ssss aasss iffff you’rrre maaakinnnggg iiiit uuuup aaas youuu gooo.
Calvin: Hobbes! She stumbled into the Perimeter of Wisdom! Run!!
Comic: “Calvin and Hobbes” by Bill Watterson