:: fav'd by 1 person
naelyn / evolution, naturalselection, random #
Natural selection is about as non-random a force as you could possibly imagine.
Richard Dawkins
:: fav'd by 1 person
omnie / cheese, life, miracle, random #
It was the cheese. The cheese was my undoing. This is the miracle of life melted over these chili fries, the bacterial flirtation with enzymes, the co-mingling of friendly micro-organisms giving birth to curds and whey. And from dust He created the universe.
Sister Katrina
TV: Wonderfalls
Vincent van Gogh war ein holländischer Maler
Er schnitt sich ab sein linkes Ohr
Das kommt bei Künstlern manchmal vor
Wären alle wie van Gogh
Dann hätten wir ein großes Loch
In der Mitte der Gesellschaft
Dann hätten alle nur ein Ohr
Dann wären alle im Radio
Und keiner säße mehr davor.
Rainald Grebe
Song: Mittelmäßiger Klaus
‘Keep avay from me! And do not breathe like zat!’ Otto wailed.
‘Like what?’
‘Zer bosoms going in and out and up and down like zat! I am a vampire! A fainting young lady, please understand, zer panting, zer heaving of zer bosoms … it calls somezing terrible from vithin …” With a lurch he pushed himself upright and gripped the black twist of ribbon from his lapel. ‘But I vill be stronk!’ he screamed. ‘I vill not let everyvun down!’
Terry Pratchett
Book: The Truth
Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
Douglas Adams
Book: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
:: fav'd by 3 people
mumble / humor, mind, penguins, random #
It was a couple of days before Kate Schechter became aware of any of these things, or indeed of anything at all in the outside world.
She passed the time quietly in a world of her own in which she was surrounded as far as the eye could see with old cabin trunks full of past memories in which she rummaged with great curiosity, and sometimes bewilderment. Or, at least, about a tenth of the cabin trunks were full of vivid, and often painful or uncomfortable memories of her past life; the other nine-tenths were full of penguins, which surprised her. Insofar as she recognised at all that she was dreaming, she realised that she must be exploring her own subconscious mind. She had heard it said that humans are supposed only to use about a tenth of their brains, and that no one was very clear what the other nine-tenths were for, but she had certainly never heard it suggested that they were used for storing penguins.
Douglas Adams
Book: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul
They have called this day the eleventh of March. And whom-so-ever of you gets through this day, unless you are shot in the head or somehow slain you will stand a hipnal when e’er you hear the name again and you will get excited at the name March the eleventh. We happy few, we few, we band of brothers, our names will be as like household names. Those who are not here be they sleeping or doing something else, they will feel themselves — sort of crappy. Because they are not here to, to join the fight. On this day the Eleventh of March!
Leslie Nielsen as Sgt. Buck Frobisher
TV: Due South, 4x13 - Call Of The Wild Pt. 2
:: fav'd by 3 people
mumble / geeky, random #
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code
Unknown
- My uncle won’t come in.
- Your uncle… Oh, right. Why? Doesn’t like doctors?
- He doesn’t trust them.
- Why’s that?
- He *is* a doctor.
- Oh really? Which kind?
- Witch.
- Which which?
- Which what?
- Which doctor.
- Right.
Darren E. Burrows as Ed Chigliak & Rob Morrow as Dr. Joel Fleischman
TV: Northern Exposure, 1x02
:: fav'd by 1 person
mumble / life, music, random #
In den finsteren Zeiten,
wird da auch gesungen werden?
Da wird auch gesungen werden.
Von den finsteren Zeiten.

[In the dark times
Will there also be singing?
Yes, there will be singing
About the dark times.]
Bertolt Brecht - translated by John Willet
:: fav'd by 3 people
mumble / humor, random #
[about the HHGG radio series] I think that the BBC’s attitude toward the show while it was in production was very similar to that which Macbeth had toward murdering people—initial doubts, followed by cautious enthusiasm and then greater and greater alarm at the sheer scale of the undertaking and still no end in sight.
Douglas Adams
Book: The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Foreword
An elephant’s penis swings at a frequency much slower than sound (although in the same ballpark as sound when you compare it with the ultra high frequencies of light).
Richard Dawkins
Book: Unweaving the Rainbow
I hate America, Louis. I hate this country. Nothing but a bunch of big ideas and stories and people dying, and then people like you. The white cracker who wrote the National Anthem knew what he was doing. He set the word free to a note so high nobody could reach it. That was deliberate.
Jeffrey Wright as Norman 'Belize' Arriaga
Movie: Angels in America (Chapter Five)
Let me ‘splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya
Movie: The Princess Bride
:: fav'd by 1 person
mumble / random, words #
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya
Movie: The Princess Bride
:: fav'd by 1 person
mumble / humor, life, random #
I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said “Please Try Again” because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong, or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. “C’mon, Mitchell, don’t give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.”
Mitch Hedberg
* In fact it’s the view of the more thoughtful historians, particularly those who have spent time in the same bar as the theoretical physicists, that the entirety of human history can be considered as a sort of blooper reel. All those wars, all those famines caused by malign stupidity, all that determined, mindless repetition of the same old errors, are in the great cosmic scheme of things only equivalent to Mr Spock’s ears falling off.
Terry Pratchett
Book: The Last Continent
I was feeling kind of crappy. I thought, “I wish I could just hide under the bed for awhile.” And there I was in front of the bed, so I did. It was fun, but not in a “I’m going crazy” kind of way.
Gina Trapani
Jareth: You remind me of the babe.
Goblin: What babe?
Jareth: The babe with the power.
Different Goblin: What power?
Jareth: The power of voodoo.
Goblin: Who do?
Jareth: You do.
Goblin: Do what?
Jareth: Remind me of the babe.
Movie: Labyrinth
He’d never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat.
Book: “Reaper Man” by Terry Pratchett
:: fav'd by 1 person
mumble / art, discworld, humor, random #
Sometimes the gods have no taste at all. They allow sunrises and sunsets in ridiculous pink and blue hues that any professional artist would dismiss as the work of some enthusiastic amateur who’d never looked at a real sunset. This was one of those sunrises. It was the kind of sunrise a man looks at and says, ‘No real sunrise could paint the sky Surgical Appliance Pink.’
Nevertheless, it was beautiful.*



* But not tasteful.
Terry Pratchett
Book: Thief of Time
The singers were halfway down Park Lane now, and halfway through ‘The Red Rosy
Hen’ in marvellous harmony.*



* ‘The red rosy hen greets the dawn of the day’. In fact the hen is not the bird traditionally associated with heralding a new sunrise, but Mrs Huggs, while collecting many old folk songs for posterity, has taken care to rewrite them where necessary to avoid, as she put it, ‘offending those of a refined disposition with unwarranted coarseness’. Much to her surprise, people often couldn’t spot the unwarranted coarseness until it had been pointed out to them.
Sometimes a chicken is nothing but a bird.
Terry Pratchett
Book: Hogfather
:: fav'd by 1 person
naelyn / random #
A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.
Joe Moore
:: fav'd by 2 people
mumble / humor, random #
I wouldn’t say ‘the glass is half-empty’.
I wouldn’t say ‘the glass is half-full’.
I might say ‘the glass contains 284ml’. If it’s a pint pot.
Engineers, eh?
+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
Terry Pratchett
Book: Hogfather
Money = Sqrt( Evil )
:: fav'd by 1 person
mumble / life, random #
Det finns små trick som får folk
att ge dig mer än du är värd

[There are little tricks that make people
give you more than you are worth]
Jocke Berg
Song: Kent - Max 500
:: fav'd by 1 person
naelyn / funny, random #
We are all precancerous.
George Carlin
What do you get when you convolute with yourself?
Bernard Brooks - RIT Math Professor
talking about convoluting a function with itself
Put your arm down - that’s how you lose friends.
Ms. Hantout - Spanish Teacher
Put your hand down; the war is over.
Mr. Tedeschi - High School Latin Teacher
:: fav'd by 1 person
mumble / humor, money, random #
Money smells like feet. Feet get us from where we are standing to other places so that we can stand there. I know what you are thinking…so do bicycles, but even then YOU NEED FEET.
Ze Frank
:: fav'd by 1 person
eggplant / julie, random #
I’m doing the pasta.
Julie Zobel
:: fav'd by 1 person
ngg / numbers, random, science #
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
Robert R. Coveyou - Oak Bridge National Laboratory
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC. [motto of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch]
Terry Pratchett
Book: Guards! Guards!
What’s another word for Thesaurus?
Steven Wright
Televangelists: The professional wrestlers of religion.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means “put down”.
Bob Newhart
:: fav'd by 2 people
naelyn / random #
Si hoc legere scis numium eruditionis habes.
[If you can read this, you are over-educated.]
The primary function of the government is—and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution—“to spew out paper.”
Dave Barry
:: fav'd by 1 person
naelyn / random #
There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.
Dave Barry
Building a deck is NOT as hard as you think! I’ve watched TV personality Bob Vila do it many times, and he is a regular ‘do-it-yourselfer’ just like you, except that he has knowledge, skill, an unlimited budget and a large staff of experts.
Dave Barry
There comes a time when we should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about our birthday. That time is age 11.
Dave Barry
For the user who spends 50% of the time in the Web browser and 40% in the mail client, the Linux desktop is already there.
Andy Hertzfeld - famed for his work on the original Apple Macintosh operating system
Snackmosphere: The 95% air inside a bag of chips.
Dawn is nature’s way of telling you to go to bed.
In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
Warren Hutcherson
For some reason, your picture reminds of a friend who used to tell girls “on a scale from the square root of two to pi, you rate an e”.
Anachronda
Film-making has all the appeal of waiting 12 weeks for a plane at London Airport.
John Cleese
who added that “A Fish Called Wanda” is the only movie he actually enjoyed making
The difference between British and Americans is, Americans think a hundred years is a long time and the British think a hundred miles is a long drive.