Children don’t read to find their identity, to free themselves from guilt, to quench the thirst for rebellion or to get rid of alienation. They have no use for psychology…. They still believe in God, the family, angels, devils, witches, goblins, logic, clarity, punctuation, and other such obsolete stuff…. When a book is boring, they yawn openly. They don’t expect their writer to redeem humanity, but leave to adults such childish illusions.
I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.
Article: “Enough Bookshelves,” New York Times, 7 August 1991
When I have something to say that is too difficult for adults, I write for children. They have not closed the shutters and like it when you rock the boat.
Philosophers are adults who persist in asking childish questions.
The Listener, 1978
There should be a notice ahead of the movie that says “This movie is PG. Can you read? You are a Parent. Do you understand what Guidance is? Or are you just another stupid toddler who thinks they’re an adult simple because they’ve grown older and, unfortunately, have developed fully-functioning sexual organs? Would you like some committee somewhere to decide everything for you? Get a damn grip, will you? And shut the wretched kid up!
Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB’s, given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren’t likely to argue about bedtime.
The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.
It would be a cold day in hell before I bought Nora a bride costume. It does not even make much sense as a costume, as bride-dom is a temporary state of being and I can’t think of many other costumes that go that route. It would be like dressing as a freshman, or as someone who has a cold.
The proper time to influence the character of a child is about a hundred years before he is born.
You can’t be too careful what you tell a child because you never know what he’ll take hold of and spend the rest of his life remembering you by.
May we never be so straight that we cannot bend;
May we never be so unapproachable that children
Cannot climb up into our lower branches.
May we never be so unapproachable that children
Cannot climb up into our lower branches.