Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California. …there’s a perfectly ordinary English sentence. How did that happen! You know how that happened? ‘Cause I’ll tell you. You know how we got into that position? He got there - by lifting things. Now you and me, we avoid lifting things. It’s unpleasant. Especially heavy things. Even a five-year-old child knows this. […] You know, you lift something when you have to. Piano falls on Granny, you lift the piano. ‘Cause Granny has mixed feelings about the whole situation. Sunday lunch continues. He didn’t do any of that! He went right over to the heavy thing and lifted it and put it back down and didn’t move it anywhere. And then he lifted it again, hundreds of times. And said, to the people who had stopped to observe this abhorrent behaviour: “Look how good I am, at lifting the heavy thing. In my underpants.” Now *that* sounds a little dim. But it was *they* who said: “You are the man. You’re the one we want to deal with immigration and water rates and taxes and all that kind of shit.”

What would you do if you were stuck in the elevator with the president, just you and him?
Would you scream? Would you laugh? Would you offer him gum? Would you say things to make him your friend?
What would you do if you were stuck for ten hours? Would you listen? Ask questions? And how?
What would it be that you’d say to the president? And why aren’t you saying it now?

Belonging to a party like Democratic or Republican is awesome. Usually when you give yourself a label you actually have to *do* something. If you only took a one-hour jog every four years you couldn’t call yourself a runner.

Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it’s 2/3 empty. There’s still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn’t drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

How many Iraqi citizens have died, in this war? I would say 30,000, more or less?